For example if we aren’t someone who naturally likes to buy and give gifts, but that is our spouse’s love language, then it is going to take some effort on our part to become comfortable and good at doing so. Once we understand what our spouse’s love language is then we need to learn to become fluent in that language.

The book outlines various tools and exercises to help with this discovery. This may be harder than it sounds especially if our spouse doesn’t even know (or at least may not recognize it as such). In order to so we first we need to figure The book devotes a chapter to each one of these languages.Ĭhapman goes on to discuss how important it is to love our spouse in their love language. As a result we need to learn our spouse’s love language so we can effectively communicate our love to them.Ĭhapman categorizes the wide variety of different ways each of us feel love into 5 groups or love languages: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch.

You are giving them hugs, but they feel that is almost unimportant and if you really loved them you would help with the dishes. They are doing the dishes to show they love you but you just think that is housework. For example if you feel that a hug is a great expression of love and your spouse feels like doing the dishes is a great expression of love then it is easy for both of you to misinterpret what your spouse is doing. As a result it is easy for two different people to believe that they are showing love to each other, but at the same time not feel like they are receiving love from each other. Each of us needs to feel loved, but the actions we associate with love are different (our love language). This book teaches that each one of us interprets love differently. “ The 5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman is a book that was published in 1992 and has continued to become even more popular over time.

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